Imagine, If You Will...

Little J is bouncing happily in his Baby Einstein's stationary jumperoo.
From my couch I hear, *grunt, grunt, sigh...grunt, grunt.*
I know there's a poop a-comin'.
After a moment, I smell a HORRIFYING smell. That could NOT be my little man...
Oh, but it could be. And it was.

I pick him up to find the gift all parents, Mother's and Father's alike, dread in the diaper department. The Always-Happens-At-A-Bad-Time Exploder. Any parent who had changed a diaper, any unsuspecting 14 year old baby sitter, the Grandma that laughs hysterically because YOU once did it to HER... knows of the Exploder. This one, was a King Exploder. The Exploder of Exploders... (at this point I am just trying to see how many times I can get away with saying "exploder" in a paragraph...okay I'm done...exploder.)

Up his back, down his legs... the kid pushed like TWO times! HOW MUCH POO WAS IN YOUR TUMMY, CHILD?!

Now I am trying to peel his soft, fuzzy, warm footy pajamas off of him...while trying not to make a bigger mess. KJ is running circles around us screaming, "Ewww! That's DISGUSTING! Gosh, Josh! Ewww!" And yes... she can say all those words QUITE well, thank you.
What's worse? Little J thinks his sister doing obnoxiously loud laps around us is HILAAAARIOUS! He's laughing at her. And not just a little giggle. He's full on jumping up and down belly laughing at her. I'm trying to hold a 15lb. laughing baby with one hand while cleaning him with the other. All the while I'M dying of laughter because my kids are losing their minds! And, trying not to lose the rest of my dinner (I've been sick today as it is) from the look and smell of this WMD (yes, that's right... it was a Weapon of Mass Destruction!).

Now close your eyes and imagine all this happening.
Are you laughing at me?
Not yet?
How about when I finally got him cleaned up, new pajamas on him, old ones in the washer, and get back to the living room with a plastic bag to dispose of the disaster in... I stuck my finger in the WONDERFULLY warm, sticky, stinky goop that was in the diaper.
I MADE IT THAT WHOLE TIME WITHOUT ONE MESS!!! Just to be TAKEN DOWN by a flimsy plastic bag and open poopy diaper!
*sigh*
Are you laughing now?
You should be. Because if I saw this happening to you, I'd by DYING of laughter!!!!!

So, if you know someone who had a pretty crappy day... go ahead and send them this way. I'm sure this story will put a grin on just about any bad mood face out there :)

Shot All Around!

Today Little J had to get shots. Took them like a champ. Cried a little, of course. But he did really well. Now that we are home and the day is done, he's being his usual maniacal self, I need something for my daily migraine, and KJ is driving me bonkers.

What KJ doesn't know... she's going in for her shots tomorrow. She's not going to be a happy camper.

And then... I'm getting MY shots on Friday. Hep B series. Apparently I don't have it? I don't know. I do know I need it for school in December.

After all this, by Friday night I am gonna need a different type of shot. Tequila? Jack? Hell bust out the Rum! Shots all around!!! Okay, maybe just for me ;)

I have a feeling by Saturday morning Little J, KJ, and Mama will be holed up in my room with the laptop, formula/water/bottle/bottle cleaner, tylenol, and a ton of pillows. We're going to be a moody brood of peeps!

Until then though, I shall attempt to remain my cheery and chipper self :D

And So It Starts

     Being a Mom is tough work. If it were easy, men would do it ;) 

     All Moms face daily struggles. Whether it's juggling a career and the kids, or juggling a daily home schedule, kids, soccer, gymnastics, and still trying to have a girls night out (yeah, right!), or a book club. ...Do they still do those?

     But there are some Moms who have a whole different challenge. The Mom with two kids under two. For some, it's intentional. For others (*raises hand*), God had different plans, and birth control is a joke! 

     And then... there is me. Two under two, and to add the whipped topping on an already nutty sundae,  the in-laws living under the same roof! 

     ...I should invest stock in Excedrin Migraine and Jack Daniels...

     So here I am. After being told by many, many people that I should write a blog, or even a book, I'm taking the baby step and starting a blog. Random musing of my day with the family, plus some extras in between. My kids may be a hoot, but I have my moments as well :)

     Here's a quick run down of the stars of this show!

Mom: That's me. I'm the CEO, the COO, the boo-boo kisser, brownie baker (*mmm brownies*), floor mopper, bed maker, dinner fixin' extraordinaire.

KJ: My daughter, Kady Jean. She is 19 months old... going on 15 years. I didn't realize having a toddler was like having a teenager who only speaks in broken sentences and still poops in bed.

Little J: My son, Joshua. He is 5 months on the dot today. He's my source of constant migraines and hair loss. But his snuggly moments and adorable dimples make it all worth it at the end of the *very long* day. 

Ace: My husband. The father of the chitlins.The Hooah from Hell. In an attempt to maintain some anonymity (at least from those readers who don't already know me), I'm not posting full names. For the record, I'm not married to a fighter pilot...or a Vegas card dealer.

Coco: The endearing term KJ gave my father in law. This is Grandpa. We're a mere 3 days away from being "Over The Hill". I express joy here that he is computer illiterate.

Joe: Well, there is no code name giving here. Mostly because the only other name he has around here is Uncle Cheeseburger. This would be my brother in law. And yes, he lives here too.

And finally we have DiNozzo and Penelope, the dogs.

Yes, he was named after Tony DiNozzo from NCIS.

No, you can't judge me. I'm sure there is a funny name in your background somewhere. Just remember that.

     So there you have it. The key players in the game. The starring roles.

     And of course, there are always guest spots around here! ;)

     I hope you all enjoy this blog. I hope I enjoy writing it.

     ...I hope I remember to keep up with it!

     ...Unlike my facebook "Recipe of the Day". Don't worry, I'll be posting one tonight!

     Until tomorrow... or, you know... the next time I remember to post! ;)