I have been raising my chitlins for going on two years now.
My soul has been a Mommy her whole life.
But up until October 31st, 2011... it hadn't really clicked in that "Wow, this is happening" kind of way.
I know... kind of confusing. Try to keep with me...
I've loved my children since the moment I found out I was pregnant with them. They've consumed my world, and though I may not always seem like it, they've made it so much better. They've truly completed my life. My existence became whole. And with every smile, every giggle, tear, hug, and milestone I've had a sense of happiness, joy, sorrow, and pride. So who would have thought doing something so parental and mundane as going through KJ's Halloween bounty would make me feel a feeling I've never really, truly, honestly had before. Something I thought I felt, but I guess it didn't really *sink in*. I...am Mommy.
I went to the store this evening to get some light shopping done *by myself*, and while I was out... it just sort of hit me. Like two tons of bricks. Two tons named Kady Jean and Joshua Logan. WHAM! I'm out getting formula, browsing Christmas trees... and instead of relishing the rare time I have to myself, I'm wishing KJ was there to "help Mama" pick out this year's tree. I'm wishing I could be showing Little J the ginormous inflatable Mickey Mouse (his favorite character so far) at Lowe's. While I will admit the quiet was nice... I really just wanted to share that moment with my kiddos. Even more so with Ace there with us. When I got home, I rocked my little man to sleep. Called a friend. Then snuggled with my KJ for no reason other than I really just wanted to hold her and remind her how much her Mama loves her.
I know for some women, the sense that "Mommy Is In The Building!" is an instantaneous feeling. And for me, I thought it was! But these last couple days have just felt...different. I wake up, I'm tired, and I just want to google "How To Install A Snooze Button On A Baby". And I'm sure until my babies are grown and on their own, I'll wake up like that every day. But who knows, maybe this new sense of Motherhood will bring me closer to KJ and Little J. Who knows, perhaps it will bring Ace and I closer as well. As parents, and as husband and wife.
And now... for the Cuteness factor you all love from my blog...
Yesterday's trick or treating was awesome! KJ said "trick or treat!" at just about every house! And for being less than 2 years old, she made out like a little bandit with all that candy!!! I can't wait til next year, when she gets to trick or treat with Daddy too :)
My soul has been a Mommy her whole life.
But up until October 31st, 2011... it hadn't really clicked in that "Wow, this is happening" kind of way.
I know... kind of confusing. Try to keep with me...
I've loved my children since the moment I found out I was pregnant with them. They've consumed my world, and though I may not always seem like it, they've made it so much better. They've truly completed my life. My existence became whole. And with every smile, every giggle, tear, hug, and milestone I've had a sense of happiness, joy, sorrow, and pride. So who would have thought doing something so parental and mundane as going through KJ's Halloween bounty would make me feel a feeling I've never really, truly, honestly had before. Something I thought I felt, but I guess it didn't really *sink in*. I...am Mommy.
I went to the store this evening to get some light shopping done *by myself*, and while I was out... it just sort of hit me. Like two tons of bricks. Two tons named Kady Jean and Joshua Logan. WHAM! I'm out getting formula, browsing Christmas trees... and instead of relishing the rare time I have to myself, I'm wishing KJ was there to "help Mama" pick out this year's tree. I'm wishing I could be showing Little J the ginormous inflatable Mickey Mouse (his favorite character so far) at Lowe's. While I will admit the quiet was nice... I really just wanted to share that moment with my kiddos. Even more so with Ace there with us. When I got home, I rocked my little man to sleep. Called a friend. Then snuggled with my KJ for no reason other than I really just wanted to hold her and remind her how much her Mama loves her.
I know for some women, the sense that "Mommy Is In The Building!" is an instantaneous feeling. And for me, I thought it was! But these last couple days have just felt...different. I wake up, I'm tired, and I just want to google "How To Install A Snooze Button On A Baby". And I'm sure until my babies are grown and on their own, I'll wake up like that every day. But who knows, maybe this new sense of Motherhood will bring me closer to KJ and Little J. Who knows, perhaps it will bring Ace and I closer as well. As parents, and as husband and wife.
And now... for the Cuteness factor you all love from my blog...
Yesterday's trick or treating was awesome! KJ said "trick or treat!" at just about every house! And for being less than 2 years old, she made out like a little bandit with all that candy!!! I can't wait til next year, when she gets to trick or treat with Daddy too :)
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